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~Method Acting~

Well, I call it living...

2/3/05 03:38 pm - Sorry, just can't help it...

I just need to post this piece of lyrics
please read it it's so beautiful and sad
But that's what most Bright Eyes songs are... immensely beautidul lyrics which are mostly sad...

It's from a song called 'Padraic my Prince'



I had a brother once
He drowned in a bathtub
before he had ever learned how to talk
and i don’t know
what his name was
but my mother does
I heard her say it once,
'padriac my prince I have all but died
from the sheer weight of my shame
you cried but no one came
and the water filled your tiny lungs
appear, my dear, and sing to me
it was six years ago today
that we laid you in your grave
your sweet young skin was shining then too

and so tonight to celebrate
i will, i will poison myself
another coughing, shaking fit in a bathroom that is spinning
so i close the door and rest my head on the tile floor
sickness and sleep turning me cold
i am still not sure, is there some better place i should be heading towards?
where the selfishly sick and self absorbed are welcome



That last line always makes me feel like crying...
It's not the whole song but I just think this is the most beautiful/sad part of the song :)
*sigh*

2/3/05 01:25 pm - Singing, Ice-skating and the Betuwe-lijn... :S

What do these 3 things have to do with eachother?

answer:
my project week

Project weeks are weird! It's something new we have from this year... We used to have 3 test weeks a year, and with that 3 reports... And now it has changed to 4, and after each test week we have a so-called 'project week'... Lat project week we went to boring museums and did some other uninteresting stuff which i can't even remember... *rolls eyes*
This project week was like this:

monday - Physics practicum (dunno the right english word)
tuesday - CKV practice day
wednesday - swimming pool/ ice-skating hall Glanerbrook
thursday - lecture about the betuwelijn

Well, monday wasn't really interesting, but not extremely boring either... But tuesday is getting interesting... I won't try to explain what CKV is in english, but that day we had an evening with little plays, and musicpieces and stuff by and for a few classes... It's not really interesting really, but I was in the music group. And I had to sing... Well ok, I love singing, and I have no problem singing in groups... But singing ALONE? And I had to do that... Just a little piece but still... And which was also embarrassing was, that ppl said with the other songs, which we had to sing as a group, I was the only one they heard, because the rest just didn't sing loud enough... *is in terrible shock* Anyway, We had to sing 'Mr Tambourine Man' and the chorus of 'Let It Be' (some guy sung it) and 'Down On The Corner'... And I had to sing the first verse of Down On The Corner. And it went wrong *turns red* Though people gave me compliments and said it sounded quite good... Me was flattered... And even the music teacher gave me a compliment (when we were rehearsing) she said I sang quite good and that if I took professional singing classes I would 'sing the stars from te sky' (dutch expression, don't know if i translated it the right way :S). The truth is, I've been wanting to take singing classes for ages, but it is just too expensive :( *sigh*
Anyway, wednesday we went to this swimming pool/skate hall, and I refused to swim... I refused to be seen in bikini by certain ppl from my class and it may sound pathetic but I would feel just really uncomfortable with that so I don't care... Call me pathetic if you want! :P (I know I am) So I went ice-skating, but I sucked at it... I hadn't done it for 2 years and I never really could... But it was good fun! Anandi, Benjamin, Marleen and Angelique didn't swim either so we stayed together all the time :)
And today...
Well, what can I say? A lecture about the BETUWE-LIJN??? who ever came up with THAT idea???? And then not ust a lecture, a 3-hour lecture!!! Gosh, that was boring! I almost fell asleep... like, really asleep, closing my eyes and stuff... I was just really tired and if you get this bring stuff thrown at you it's just... something inevitable :P

And I can't stop thinking about Brian... :( Instead of forgetting him I'm only thinking more and more about him... I mean, since caro told me monday-night it might be better for me to stop talking to him or at least talk less to him, I don't know what to do... She might be right because if I keep talking to him I never allow myself to get over him... BUT, I just CAN'T stop talking to him, he just means too much to me, also as a very dear friend! Argh! This thing is driving me mad it only makes me think more :(

And sorry for you ppl, you don't know who Brian is and what I am talking about, But I'll explain some time later :)


Hugs for everyone who reads this!

1/30/05 02:14 pm - When a week of almost no sleep catches up with you...

*sigh*

I had test week last week, and I so screwed up! It was horrible!
The annoying thing was, that i had to work very much unexpectedly! Usually, when I have to work on weekdays, I only have to work until 8, 9 somtimes (and with a bit of luck 7). And as if they planned it to annoy me, I had to work until 10 on tuesday and till 10.15 on wednesday! And after that I still had to have dinner!

So, that leaves the question: when study?
Which leads to the answer: After that so you're not in bed before midnight, and then in the morning getting up at 5 because you have fucking hard and important tests for maths and physics!
I screwed them up anyway... :(

Damn it was so important for me to get good grades! I had fails for chemistry, physics and maths, which are my most important subjects, and I just screwed them again! *rolls eyes*
My parents are so not gonna like this...

And I hoped, that if I got good grades in this test week, that they might be happy with me and then maybe would let me go to that Bright Eyes gig... It was sort of my last hope... But that's another story...

But yeah, I got an awful lack of sleep!
and that made sure that this morning, I couldn't get out of my bed! I tried to get up at, let's say, 10? I was so dizzy I couldn't stand on my legs! So finally I got up at 12... and I'm still dizzy and tired now... and in my pyjamas...
Meh, I could have known this would happen... I've never been able to handle too little sleep! It always braks me up in the end!

So when a week of almost no sleep catches up with me, it makes sure my whole weekend is also ruined by my own tired and dullness...

I'll try to write something more interesting later today...
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